Je Suis Beeple: Should the Mad Biologist Go Full NFT?

There’s a lot of people with money who desperately need to be taxed more. We read with disgust how non-fungible tokens or NFTs are going for ludicrous prices. Essentially, here’s what they’re buying (boldface mine):

An NFT is a type of digital crypto asset. They represent a specific version of any digital file — whether it’s a song, a video game or a simple image. Using the same technology that bitcoin uses, people can “mint” NFTs, creating a record of ownership that’s spread across thousands of computers around the world that cannot be changed by anyone except the owner. It’s a way of turning a digital file into something that can be bought and sold like a physical object.

NFTs are not tangible — you can’t hold them or touch them (unless, of course, you decided to print a copy of one, like you might print out an art image). The knowledge in the owner’s mind that they own the original or “real” version of the digital file is what makes them valuable.

NFTs are traded on digital marketplaces, but unlike bitcoin or other “fungible” tokens, they are individually all unique. They’re not money, but rather unique assets.

Owning the Mona Lisa–or for that matter, a replica–is actual ownership of something. But this is just bragging rights money. The NFT for Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey’s first tweet is now up to $2.6 million, but anyone can look at the tweet–and importantly, what they see isn’t any different in any way from what the owner sees.

While this is all bullshit, this got me to thinking: if you remember all of those Trump ersatz signing statements I did? What if I turned those into NFTs? The answer would likely be depressing, but that’s how absurd all of this is. Just tax the fuckers into the ground.

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2 Responses to Je Suis Beeple: Should the Mad Biologist Go Full NFT?

  1. My general rule with this sort of thing is that by the time mainstream news has caught wind of it all the grifting worth doing has been done already. See also: Gamestop stock.

  2. Bern says:

    I dunno…I gotta couple spare nickels under these seat cushions somewhere…

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