Mike the Mad Biologist

Observed at the corner of 14th and Corcoran Streets NW, Logan Circle, D.C.:

Right now, D.C., not official Wor-Shing-Tun, but the mainland colony of the District of Columbia is debating a teenage curfew policy. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t be of much interest to anyone other than the local juveniles and their parents, but one of the features of being a colonial subject is that every policy debate, no matter how small can become an excuse for federal authorities to curtail the limited Home Rule we have. Your state or municipality doesn’t have to consider this argument by Council Member and mayoral candidate Kenyan McDuffie*:

This is not only a public safety matter. It is a Home Rule matter.

Local residents and elected officials know DC best and do not need federal intervention to keep our city safe and invest in our youth. However, U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro has spent months making the national argument that the District cannot govern itself. President Donald Trump has deployed the National Guard on DC streets and floated proposals to try 14-year-olds as adults. Every week that this Council allows curfew authority to lapse, it hands the White House and its allies fresh evidence for that narrative and justification for federal intervention in our local affairs.

I don’t really have a strong opinion on the curfew issue per se, but it is ridiculous that the Congress and president of these United States are wasting their time over a local curfew ordinance.

And unlike virtually every other American, the residents of D.C. must consider if we will lose the limited self-governance we have because Fox News has whipped up another panic over ‘teenage flash mobs.’** Other Americans don’t have to live like this***, and neither should the residents of D.C.

D.C. statehood now.

*For what it’s worth, I don’t plan on voting for McDuffie. He’s a competency candidate who hasn’t been very competent, and he always attempts to reach a compromise, even when one side isn’t worth compromising with. He has been endorsed by the kinder, gentler version of the Green Team–and that’s not a compliment.

**You can read about the American Carnage here. It really seems to be much ado about very little, not nothing, but very little. There is a long D.C. tradition of neighborhoods undergoing gentrification freaking out over crowds of Black teenagers, while not giving them any options for entertainment. It’s also worth noting this happened seven months ago. That said, places like Fox News have been running footage of large groups of Black teenagers for months in an attempt to convince viewers that inner city violence is out of control.

***If there were a way to make Oklahoma live like this for a week, D.C. statehood would be a sacrament.