Nothing in Movement Conservativism Makes Sense Except in the Light of Creationism: The Anne Arundel County Edition

Amidst all of the blather about the ‘libertarian moment‘ and the ‘reformicons’ (DOES REIHAN SALAM TURN INTO A FIGHTER JET?), it’s worth remembering that conservatism isn’t defined by what some high-end reporter or pundit thinks it is, conservatism is defined by what conservatives do. Which takes us to Anne Arundel County, MD.

Unless you’ve lived in the D.C. metro area* or attended the U.S. Naval Academy–or work at the NSA–you’ve probably never heard of Anne Arundel County, but it’s a prosperous county (all those gummint monies!). It is not a ‘down-holler’ decaying, hole-in-the-wall. In their infinite wisdom, the Republicans of Anne Arundel have nominated Michael Peroutka to county council. He’s quite the piece of work (boldface mine):

In an Institute on the Constitution video released yesterday, Peroutka claims that the Maryland General Assembly is “no longer a valid legislative body” and as a result, none of the laws that it has passed are “legally valid and legally enforceable.”

This is because, Peroutka argues, the Maryland Assembly has passed laws that “violate God’s law” and therefore have violated the Constitution and moved toward “despotism.” The laws that have invalidated Maryland’s entire state government in Peroutka’s estimation are a marriage equality bill, a transgender rights bill, an assault weapons ban and a stormwater runoff fee.

“Is it possible that those who are sworn to uphold the law, such as police and sheriffs and judges and prosecutors, may soon come to the conclusion that the enactments of this body should be ignored because they are based not in law, but in lawlessness?” he asks.

That’s right: Anne Arundel Republicans have nominated the East Coast version of Cliven Bundy. In the recent past, he’s described in detail how a guerilla war should be conducted in the U.S.–the essay was called “A Bazooka in Every Pot.” He’s also associated with the revisionist neo-Confederate and racist League of the South. Recently, when asked to lead the national anthem, he sang “I Wish I Was in Dixie”, the de facto anthem of the secessionist, pro-slavery South (he also flies the American Swastika outside his house).

So guess what he thinks about evolutionary biology? Don’t be shy. Yes, you in the back?

American political philosophy is based on the belief that the world was created by God in six days and that this creation event occurred about six thousand years ago. So, the whole idea of evolution and an earth that is millions of years old is absolutely antithetical to America. When you see and hear folks describe the earth as millions of years old, you know that they are either willfully anti-American or they are ignorant of their own heritage and history.

What I am saying is that the promotion of evolution is an act of disloyalty to America.

What I am saying is that there is no way you can promote or believe in evolution and sing God Bless America during the seventh-inning stretch. You either believe in creation by which you have rights that government is designed to protect, or you believe that all men are slime and that you have no rights at all.

“All men are created equal”. They are not “evolved” equal.

Evolution is Anti-American.

As the kids used to say, the stupid, it burns.

Now do you see why I so often write “nothing in movement conservatism makes sense except in the light of creationism”? Not only do they use the same tactics, but they are often the same people. This is who the Republican base nominates. His supporters are the ones who show up and vote, who operate the local party machinery. Remember that not only is Anne Arundel a wealthy county, but he would represent the wealthiest district in that wealthy county.

Peroutka was chosen by the Republican base–they, not the denizens of Washington think tanks, are the heart and soul (such as it is) of the conservative movement. He represents the final step in the degeneration of Roosevelt’s Bull Moose into Glenn Beck’s Prion-Infested Condemned Cow. So the NY Times and the rest of the punditocracy can natter all it wants about the reformicons and the ever-emerging libertarians, but the Republican Party as constituted–and as the embodiment of conservatism–is a white nationalist party. Until the Palinist impulse within it is ripped out root, branch, and stem, waiting for a sane GOP is like waiting for Godot.

*Apparently, all the hipster wonks now refer to the D.C. metro area as the ‘DMV.’ We don’t do that here, because it’s really fucking douchey.

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6 Responses to Nothing in Movement Conservativism Makes Sense Except in the Light of Creationism: The Anne Arundel County Edition

  1. AndrewD says:

    A question for any other UK readers, At what point will it become possible(or required )to declare the US Republican party, associated Teaparties, the NRA and the Gun owners of the US Terrorist organisations according to UK law.

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  3. Chris. says:

    AndrewD: I think it’ll only become possible when British governments stop feeling a need to crawl to everyone with any power in the US in the name of the “special relationship”. Since I don’t see that happening anytime soon, and anyway all our major parties are part of the neoliberal austerity bullshit brotherhood, I afraid I don’t hold out much hope.

    Most Teaparty-related organisations (and many US police departments, come to that) are already terrorist organisations according to any rational reading of the legal definition[1] (I believe the US definition is pretty similar). Funny how rich white guys with guns are never terrorists, isn’t it?

    [1] basically, terrorism is a dangerous (to people or property) action or threat of such action intended to influence the populace or government for the purpose of advancing a political, religious or ideological cause.

  4. mark says:

    Maryland State and several Maryland counties have introduced legislation promoting the teaching of Creationism over the years. The last I recall for the state were House Bill 1531 and House Bill 1228, introduced by Assemblyman Emmett Burns (D-10) in 2006. It’s not at all uncommon to see Confederate battle jacks flying in front of homes or adorning the rear windows of pickup trucks in Maryland.

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