Recently, Louisiana’s House of Representatives passed legislation to require the posting of the Ten Commandments in classrooms of public K-12 schools, universities, charter schools, and private schools that receive public money.

This isn’t the first time Louisiana has done this–they tried this in 2006, but ran into problems when deciding which denomination’s version of the Ten Commandments to use. As I pointed out at the time, it’s even worse, since there are three versions of the Ten Commandments in the Bible, and one of them is not like the others:

While the first two have a slightly different order, they’re identical in content. But the third version (Exodus 34) is very different. In fact, some scholoars argue it really shouldn’t be called the Ten Commandments, but instead, the Twelve Commandments. Here they are:

• Don’t make a covenant with the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites.
• Destroy the idols of said heathens.
• Don’t worship other gods.
• Don’t make idols.
• Observe Passover.
• Sacrifice the firstborn animals, and redeem your firstborn sons (later on, the best ‘first-fruits’ are supposed to be brought to the Temple, but I’ll throw that in here).
• Observe the Sabbath.
• Observe Shavuot and Sukkot.
• Go to the Temple three times per year.
• Don’t offer the blood of sacrifices with leavened bread.
• Don’t leave the Passover sacrifice sitting around until morning.
• Don’t cook a lamb in its mother’s milk.

Now, I think this version of the Ten Commandments should be posted everywhere. Why? First, it raises self-esteem: it’s very easy to fulfill most of these, since there’s no more Temple. Second, some fundamentalists will take this so seriously that they’ll sit in a hut for seven weeks to observe Sukkot. Third, adultery is fair game. Just sayin’. Fourth, the whole Jebusite issue is vital for American jurisprudence.

I would add as someone knowledgeable about food safety that you definitely should not leave the Passover sacrifice sitting around until morning. Refrigeration is your friend!

It would be a wonderful troll if this version of the Ten Commandments were posted.