Just Bribe Manchin Already

While I have little idea what to do about Manic Pixie Dream Senator Sinema (and a bunch of us have been telling you for years that she is horrible), this seems like it might work (boldface mine):

The reason for this is simple enough: Joe Manchin profits from coal mines. He started the mining company Enersystems in 1988, and that company is still operated by his son.

Let’s make this really simple:

1. Sen. Joe Manchin makes about $500,000 each year directly from stock in his coal brokerage company.

2. President Joe Biden is proposing a higher tax rate on those making over $400,000, and both the infrastructure bill and reconciliation bill are designed to turn the nation away from coal.

Does that make the problem clear enough?

…The coal industry is dying. The coal industry knows it’s dying. The coal industry knows that nothing will stop it from dying.

That’s not because of any regulation. It’s because coal is simply not competitive with any other source of energy in the current market. It’s not only more expensive than natural gas, it’s more expensive simply to maintain an existing coal power plant than it is to build the equivalent capacity in either wind or solar from scratch…

Manchin sees his entire job as doing everything he can to hinder the transition away from coal. A tiny fraction of that is because there are still voters in his state who attribute an outsized position to coal as a source of employment. A much larger fraction is that the coal industry is right now putting half a million dollars into Manchin’s pocket every single year, and also providing even more wealth to his family. That he refuses to just shrug and turn off that tap is not a mystery.

So bribe him. Not in an illegal way. Just bribe him in the time honored way that people have always been bribed in Washington, D.C.

Right now in America, there are about 41,000 people employed in the coal industry. That’s nationwide, including engineers, office workers, sales people … that’s everything. Of those, about 20,000 are actual miners in the sense that they operate some piece of equipment at a surface mine, or stick on a helmet lamp and go underground for a living.

Make them all millionaires. Set aside $20 billion for the purpose of giving every single coal miner in America a million bucks. Pay it out over the next five years if you want to look more reasonable. At the same time, make sure that West Virginia gets its normal (i.e., grossly disproportionate) share of the funds dedicated to updating the sources of energy. Then see how folks back in Manchin’s district feel about that.

But of course, making every coal miner a millionaire isn’t what Manchin is about at all. Because he’s not a coal miner. He’s a coal mine owner. To give him what he wants, the golden parachute will have to be extended to giving a safe landing to the jackasses who have headed up the brigade of those creating the climate crisis. Which doesn’t seem fair at all.

It’s not. Just do it anyway and get this over with. Set aside another few billion to make these guys—including Manchin and his son—go away.

He’ll still fight for means testing, but, if he were to go along with this, you now have leverage, and could back him off. Will it work? Who knows? But it’s worth a shot.

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3 Responses to Just Bribe Manchin Already

  1. js says:

    Bribe or threaten his daughter with criminal prosecution over the Epipen scandal, problem is they may have to go after Pfizer too, but only if they are being fair, and it’s not about fair but about twisting arms.

    A COAL MINE OWNER and filthy rich. Think about how evil you have to be. Imagine there was no climate change, it’s still an industry that has profited from the death and disease of it’s workers, dying of black lung, cancer and other mysterious ailments, and over the destruction of the immediate environment as well. Imagine your wealth (and not in some indirect way “oh I have a mutual fund IRA and don’t know what it invests in” but very directly) depended on others dying of all the diseases caused by living in coal country and mining coal, and you are the fabulously rich owner on top of the pyramid of dying, suffering people. Your wealth was others deaths in what Chris Hedges calls “sacrifice zones”. That kind of evil. But evil can be threatened or bought.

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