Never Go to a Chinese Restaurant…

…and order anything that comes with “assorted meats.” You see, I thought that would mean mammals and birds. Instead, we got this:

We couldn’t even identify in which phylum half of this stuff was. There was one thing that couldn’t make it past my nose. When we asked what it was, we were told “Chinese seafood.” As you might guess, there was a little left over:
Oh well. The braised duck was very good…

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9 Responses to Never Go to a Chinese Restaurant…

  1. Joshua says:

    Man, I don’t think I’d order something from any kind of restaurant that promised “assorted meats”. That is simply a combination of words I do not want to see on my menu. (This, coming from a guy who eats linguiça at least four days out of the week.)

  2. Hermagoras says:

    Obviously you need to read Weird Meat, the best blog in the world devoted to disgusting food:

  3. stogoe says:

    I’m partial to Steve, Don’t Eat It, myself.
    But yeah. ‘Assorted Meats’ is an unappetizing phrase.

  4. Susannah says:

    Looks yummy!
    But then, I’ve eaten most of that, if not all, already, with someone to tell me what it was, the first time.

  5. JC says:

    The ‘assorted meats’ in your photo look like pretty standard Chinese seafood. I see shrimp, squid, sea cucumber, and potentially some duck and pork (tho’ not seafood).

  6. benjymous says:

    There used to be an Indian Restaurant in the town that I went to university that was famous amongst the student population for two reasons:
    1) The sign in their window that read “We have ample food”
    2) Their insistence that the meat they served was chicken, when it came in a vast variety of different textures and colours (and the town had a high squirrel population…)

  7. Steven says:

    Plus improperly cooked rice can get you infected with Bacillus cereus. Produces a toxin that is almost invincible. Food poisoning isn’t good. The statement “coming out both ends” comes to mind.

  8. Roman Werpachowski says:

    Yeah, better don’t go to restaurants at all. Let’s not get paranoid: either you trust the restaurant or not.

  9. mirc says:


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