I Think This Explains Many, Many Things

Posted on December 31, 2006 by mikethemadbiologist

According to an AP-AOL poll, 25% of Americans think Jesus will return next year. Not ‘soon’, but within the next 365 days. Twenty-five percent. That’s higher than the nineteen percent who think that we will discover extra-terrestrial life next year…

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10 Responses to I Think This Explains Many, Many Things

  1. Bruce says:
    December 31, 2006 at 6:50 pm

    Ha ha. I love the first category for this post!

  2. Tony P says:
    December 31, 2006 at 7:08 pm

    I do hope something happens next year. I’m getting a little tired of all these so called Christian thumping their bibles in my face.

  3. Gerry L says:
    December 31, 2006 at 9:24 pm

    How about this one:
    15% of people who respond to AP-AOL polls give bogus answers just to be provocative.
    I made that up, of course, but the “Jesus will return in 2007” question is so weird maybe some folks — a lot of folks — just couldn’t resist answering in the affirmative.
    Happy New Year to all.

  4. mark says:
    December 31, 2006 at 9:49 pm

    I hope he brings along slides to show how he spent all that time. Did he use up all of his vacation leave?

  5. S. Rivlin says:
    December 31, 2006 at 10:35 pm

    Forget slides, I would like to see his powerpoint presentation with special effects.

  6. llewelly says:
    January 1, 2007 at 12:17 am

    I made that up, of course, but the “Jesus will return in 2007” question is so weird maybe some folks — a lot of folks — just couldn’t resist answering in the affirmative.

    *raises hand*
    Ok, I wasn’t polled, but if I had been, I would have answered so, despite being an atheist.
    I can’t take internet polls seriously (and if someone knows why other people can take internet polls seriously, I’d appreciate an answer). Either I reflexively respond in the most ridiculous manner, or I simply don’t participate.

  7. skunqesh says:
    January 1, 2007 at 3:53 am

    Spirituality takes many forms. I, for one, subscribe to the Carl Spackler ‘total consciousness’ school of thought.
    “So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai, Lama. Himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking.
    So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one — big hitter, the Lama — long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what the Lama says?
    Gunga galunga… gunga — gunga galunga.
    So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness.” So I got that goin’ for me.
    which is nice.
    Cheers in the Newyearz!

  8. Troublesome Frog says:
    January 2, 2007 at 8:52 pm

    Whether the numbers are right or not, there is some subset of the population that believes in a hard timetable for the second coming of Christ. While I admire their willingness to stand on a concrete belief, I have to wonder what happens to these people when the predictions turn out to be false. Is there a crisis of faith, or do they just revise the timetable?

  9. khan says:
    January 3, 2007 at 1:23 pm

    Whether the numbers are right or not, there is some subset of the population that believes in a hard timetable for the second coming of Christ. While I admire their willingness to stand on a concrete belief, I have to wonder what happens to these people when the predictions turn out to be false. Is there a crisis of faith, or do they just revise the timetable?
    In the past, various sects have simply revised the timetable. Others have claimed that ‘something’ significant actually did occur, it just wasn’t apparent to most of the people on the planet.

  10. Edward says:
    January 3, 2007 at 4:12 pm

    ALL the things in that poll were silly and most had a higher percentage saying they would happen next year. 35% said we’d find a “cure” for cancer next year. I think a lot of people are out of touch with what is possible. A lot of people seek religion for wish fulfillment, but just as many seek their wish fulfillment in “science.” Too many people just don’t get that their never will be a pill that cures all cancer.

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