Getting Divorced After 115 Years

Old Jewish joke:

A couple, both in their late nineties, walks into the rabbi’s office and announces that they want to get divorced. Since they’ve been married longer than the rabbi has been alive, he’s a little shocked, so he makes sure he heard them correctly. “Yes,” they tell him, “we would like to get a divorce.” The rabbi asks them if they’re sure they don’t want to try to work things out: after all, they’ve been married for decades.

“No, we’re quite certain,” they both insist. Very troubled and confused by the situation, the rabbi finally asks, “Look, you’re both not long for this world, why did you wait so long?”

The wife answers, “We wanted to wait until the kids were dead.”

With that, we bring you this story from the Klagenfurt Zoo in Austria:

Bibi and Poldi, a pair of Galápagos tortoises in the Klagenfurt zoo in Austria, had been partners for over a century. Together, they lived through World War I, World War II and the Cold War. But then the drama began. Last autumn, an enraged Bibi attacked her partner, biting off part of his shell.

“We had to separate them,” Helga Happ, the director of the Klagenfurt Zoo, told local paper Kleine Zeitung earlier this week. “We were hoping that that they would make-up during their first spring outing.” But the hopes were in vain. All attempts to reconcile Bibi and Poldi have failed. “All of sudden, she just couldn’t stand Poldi anymore,” Happ said.

The turtles were born in 1897, grew up together, and later became a couple. They moved to Klagenfurt from the Basel Zoo in 1976.

Bibi’s recent behavior has baffled experts. Nothing in the turtles’ daily routines had changed; there was simply no explanation.

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2 Responses to Getting Divorced After 115 Years

  1. mrtoads says:

    Seems perfectly understandable to me – she finally realized that he just wasn’t going to change.

  2. John of Indiana says:

    Maybe she discovered she was Gay? Happened with my ex, but she didn’t bite anything off of me…

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