Things I Learned While Shopping at Crate and Barrel

I went to Crate and Barrel last weekend because I needed a not-ugly thing to put stuff in. Anyway, I discovered why the U.S. is so fucked up (more on that in a bit). They do have a very liberal staff dress code:


Or maybe it was kilt day.

And there’s some really ugly shit that people apparently will pay lots of money for. And then display to other people:


This is a putative candelabra.

But this particular item–only $5.99!!–is a crystal clear example of how fucked up the U.S. is:


That’s right: a jar of rocks. You can spend six dollars to buy a fucking jar of rocks. WHILE SUPPLIES LAST! Probably to replace the ones in your stupid head when they wear out.

I think some of these people vote.


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7 Responses to Things I Learned While Shopping at Crate and Barrel

  1. John Danley says:

    But dem are purty rocks.

  2. george.w says:

    If you live in an urban area, this is almost the only way you will own interesting rocks.

  3. Karen says:

    My 8 year old has rocks strewn all over the dang house. I often find rocks in his pockets, which I dutifully check before doing the laundry. If I could only get him to put them in jars, he’d be rich, rich I say!

  4. Dem smooths rocks from the C, idn’t day?

  5. Leo says:

    Your whinging about the jarred rocks for $6 and not the potted grass for $11 immediately above them?

  6. george.w says:

    Hmm… depends on what kind of grass we’re talking about here.

  7. HCA says:

    Stores like that have a simple model – people want to believe they’re interesting, or at least be seen as interesting by others. However, most people are about as unique and interesting as grains of sand on a beach. So they buy crap like that so that it looks like they’ve done interesting things and brought back interesting memiors from interesting places. Other faux-interesting people will note this accordingly and never actually question the provenance of the “accents”, lest their own “accents” be called out.

    If you want genuinely interesting furniture, try the Ed Gein upholstry method. Guaranteed to produce gasps of wonder/terror!

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