The Most Important Science Study EVAH!

It’s a couple years old, but good science never goes bad. Here’s the abstract:

Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government’s invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

Now go read the ‘paper.’

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2 Responses to The Most Important Science Study EVAH!

  1. Mark says:

    It’s a nice study, but it only confirms that some real paranoids were right about not using an inferior metal like aluminum.
    In a small town near me, there lived two brothers who were past 60 when I knew them. These guys were first class paranoid kooks, into homeopathy, moon-landing denial, and every form of woo imaginable.
    To protect against government radio signals, they both wore authentic steel hardhats. This in spite of the fact that neither of them had ever worked on a job that required a hardhat. And they wore them all the time, summer or winter, even to church on Sunday. They knew THE TRUTH, about why OSHA phased out steel hardhats and replaced them with fiberglass hats, which pass all the signals.
    If only they had known how to use the internet, they could have created a website to get the word out and save the country.

  2. martin says:

    They were using the wrong sort of spectrum for tinfoil analysis. The spectrum they should have used is this

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