Our Turkey Overlords Are on the March!

A while back, I wrote about the full out assault by demonic flocks of turkeys on the good city of Boston. Now, I have personally witnessed the horror up close.

Last weekend, I was in Kendall Square, Boston, about a block away from the Kendall Square T station around noon. And what did I see, but a rather large turkey wandering around (no doubt it was an advance scout for the rampaging turkey hordes). It was rather skittish around people–although that might be part of the master plan to soften we humans up in preparation for the onslaught.
Seriously, this is an urban area. There are no greenways or corridors–at some point, the bird had to cross blocks of concrete and streets (there is the occasional ‘park’–a small patch of fenced-in playground), although there are some planters with shrubs.
This is where I saw it:
The arrow marks the location of the Evil One
There is some green, but it’s bounded by heavily traveled roads–that’s one quick turkey.
Or maybe it swam across the Charles River… That’s all we need: amphibious strike force turkeys.
How long before they start showing up on the Boston Common or in the Public Garden? Have they no decency?

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7 Responses to Our Turkey Overlords Are on the March!

  1. PhysioProf says:

    “Last weekend, I was in Kendall Square, Boston[.]”
    Kendall Square isn’t in Boston.

  2. Adam Gaffin says:

    That’s Mr. Gobbles! He’s harmless (he’s been there for years; he likes the grass by the Volpe center) – unlike those razor-clawed killers on Beacon Street in Brookline.

  3. afarensis says:

    That’s all we need: amphibious strike force turkeys.

    Maybe the are in league with the Manatees.

  4. 6EQUJ5 says:

    Weird. I grew up in the Appalachian hills, always near woods. In 27 years, I heard scores of wild turkeys calling while scarfing up on the mast in the forest litter, but I never actually saw a turkey. Tracks and scratches, yes, but no birds.
    I’d moved to the Mojave Desert where the chukar, an Asian partridge, had spread. They are very skittish around people and mostly stay out of sight.
    However, in 1942 when Camp Irwin opened for tank warfare training, and later the Goldstone Tracking Stations were built adjacent to it, the whole area was zoned no-hunting. By the 70s, flocks of chukars were foraging around buildings, keeping close to the humans, probably because hawks, eagles, bobcats, and coyotes are even more skittish around humans.
    At Jet Propulsion Laboratory, about two dozen mule deer live there year-round. Proximity to humans gives them some protection from cougars.

  5. HP says:

    A couple of years ago some friends and I were driving down a neglected country road in rural Ohio when we saw a wild turkey standing in the road. We slowed to crawl, and approached to within about 30 yards of the bird. Finally, he looked over his shoulder and saw the car, and he took off running. On foot. Down the road. From a car. He was tearing along as fast as his little legs could carry him, maybe 5 – 6 miles an hour, occasionally glancing behind to see if we were catching up to him.
    All he had to do was step off the road, or flap lazily up onto a fencepost. But he chose to remain on the pavement, and try to outrun us. I’m not doing the story justice, but it was hands down my funniest encounter with wildlife.
    Hard to believe this is the same bird that is colonizing Boston.

  6. SteveG says:

    Our turkey overlords? Is this real or just propaganda put out by the minister Joseph Gobbles?

  7. genesgalore says:

    personally, i use “shellcrackers” from stoneco, inc. trinidad, colorado to keep the varmits at bay. they are big ass bottle rockets in a convenient 12 guage shell. (courtesy of the local department of natural resources conservation officer, donch know). those green pooping, vegetation stipping, goofy looking jakes sure are suprised when dad’s doublebarrel drops the explosive in their midst at thiry yards.`

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