“America Threatened By Imminent Attack of Chanel Lip Gloss”

So quipped John Aravosis. He posted the following email:

The horror the horror.
Just got the following email from my friend Cate:
“Yesterday, the TSA was confiscating MAKE UP at America’s airports. Yes, MAKE UP. What kind of make up, you ask? LIP GLOSS. Yesterday, a friend of mine informed me that a girlfriend of hers waited in line for FIVE HOURS yesterday at National Airport.. and if you got out of line, to um, I don’t know, TAKE A PISS, you had to go to the back of the line. Then the TSA made her hand over her Chanel lip gloss. Apparently Chanel Lip Gloss is a massive threat to national security. Let me show you this dire threat to our nation:
“And as women began to talk with each other about yesterday’s debacle, we discover other things: women all over America were forced to take their lip gloss, foundation, and liquid eyeliner out of their purses and hand them over to the TSA. I’m sorry, but I find this ridiculous and grossly unfair. Let’s be honest — this is unfair to women, as men really don’t go about their day to day lives with lip gloss in their pocket (unless they’re a drag queen).
“I wonder if the NSA is going to start spying on Clinique, Chanel and Bobbi Brown. Apparently, the threat is massive.”

Two phrases come to mind: civil disobediance and tampons. Lots of tampons. This policy is insane. What’s even crazier are the large open containers that passengers are supposed to pour liquids into to prevent someone from bringing a liquid explosive onto the plane. That’s really safe: mixing all sorts of fluids in an open container. Why don’t we make small children drink the healthly mixture while we’re at it? Seriously, why not just bring some really noxious chemicals, dump them in the bin, and kill people before the flight? Incompetence of the highest order.

This entry was posted in Fucking Morons, Terrorism. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to “America Threatened By Imminent Attack of Chanel Lip Gloss”

  1. DRR says:

    Sometimes (pretty often, actually), our government just makes me want to smack my head into a wall over and over again.

  2. Garrett says:

    It’s not just your government. Unfortunately the people in charge make their decisions based on knee-jerk reactions of the least informed of their masses. Not just in the USA but everywhere. I don’t think I’ll be flying anytime soon. Not because I don’t feel safe, but because I don’t feel like standing in line for half a day and being harrassed by idiots (or regular people commanded by idiots).

  3. Michael Schmidt says:

    I’m sure the cosmetic companies are thrilled. All those discarded cosmetics will have to be replaced. Sales will soar! Chertoff will be added to the Board of Directors of Revlon, just like Tom Ridge was added to the Board at Home Depot after he successfully boosted sales of duct tape and plastic sheeting back in 2003.

Comments are closed.