Somebody better tell Dr. Isis. From the urban hellhole (boldface mine):

04/11/12 – At about 1:39 p.m., officers made an on-site arrest of an individual for assault and battery by means of a dangerous weapon to wit shod foot at Newbury and Dartmouth streets….

The officer forcefully put the suspect to the ground, at which time additional police came to his assistance. The suspect struggled briefly before officers handcuffed him, and he continued to resist physically as police forced him into the back of a marked cruiser.

The reporting officer said he was on detail on Boston Street when witnesses approached him and reported that the suspect had just assaulted a male victim.

After the suspect was placed into custody, the victim made contact with police and told them that he and his wife were walking in the crosswalk on Boylston Street when the suspect shoved him. The victim turned to face the suspect, who then kicked him in the area of the ribs and arms and caused the victim to drop his briefcase.

The suspect began yelling obscenities at the victim and his wife, but fled upon being confronted by the detail officer.

The suspect was transported to Area A-4 headquarters and charged with assault and battery by means of a dangerous weapon to wit shod foot, as well as resisting arrest.

Of course, if he had had no shoes but stinky feet, would this have been “assault and battery by means of a dangerous weapon to wit stinky foot?”

Never a dull moment.