I recently posted about creationists who want their ‘biology’ courses to be taken seriously by universities. Josh takes to task a libertarian who states “if we chose to mandate what is taught about human origins, and we are true democrats, we should mandate equal time for creationism and evolution.” So, I found on the internets a description of Biology for Christian Schools, a creationist textbook, written by the textbook’s authors.
Creationism should never be viewed in the abstract, but as the mindless indoctrination that it is. Hold your breath and dive in; the passage destroys the very concepts of sarcasm and irony (italics mine):
Biology for Christian Schools is a textbook for Bible-believing high-school students. Those who do not believe that the Bible is the inspired, inerrant Word of God will find many points in this book puzzling. This book was not written for them.
Between true science (those things that can be accurately observed and measured) and the Bible there are no contradictions. After all, the One who inspired the Bible also created the things that scientists can observe. Men, however, can make mistakes in their observations, or they may reach faulty conclusions from what they observe.
The people who have prepared this book have tried consistently to put the Word of God first and science second. Paul exhorts Christians to live in such a way that “in all things [Jesus Christ] might have the preeminence” (Col. 1:18) To the best of the authors’ knowledge, the conclusions drawn from observable facts and presented in this book agree with the Scriptures. If a mistake has been made (which is probable since this book was prepared by humans) and at any point God’s Word is not put first, the authors apologize.
The position expressed by Dr. Bob Jones Sr. when he said, “Whatever the Bible says is so; whatever man says may or may not be so,” is the only one a Christian can take, but it does present some problems for a Christian high-school biology student. Some of the conclusions a Christian must reach differ from those expressed by secular sources. If your teacher assigns a report on grasshoppers, an encyclopedia would be a logical place to begin. As you find out about the legs and wings of grasshoppers, how far these insects jump, their life cycle, how much damage they cause each year, and what type of insecticides are used to control them, you are gleaning scientific material.
The same encyclopedia article may state that the grasshopper evolved 300 million years ago. You may find a description of some insect that scientists say evolved from the grasshopper. You may even find a “scientific” explanation of the biblical locust (grasshopper) plague in Egypt. These statements are conclusions based on “supposed science.” If the conclusions contradict the Word of God, the conclusions are wrong, no matter how many scientific facts may appear to back them.
Well, they’re definitely ready for college biology. This is dysfunctional lunacy. It’s just Christian Lysenkoism, fortunately without the bullets (for now, anyway). Actually, the last paragraph sounds like a creationist version of a Talking Heads song:
Are these guys trying to throw Steve Colbert out of a job? Because not even Colbert could pull this off with a straight face. On behalf of the Coalition of the Sane, can we please have our country back?
Yes, they are indeed, totally frigging, unbelievably, and undeniably really crazy.
I dunno, in the realm of unintentional parody, it’d be pretty hard to approach the latest goings on at Overwhelmingevidence. I’m sure at least some involved are pro-evolution parodists, but they’ve taken to daring one another to drink their own man-juice. Seriously: