I Think Everyone Who Receives Even a Single Tax Dollar Should Have to Pee in a Cup

urine_sample

Sure, I’m a federally funded researcher, but my pee is clean, so I’m cool with this. Because with all of this ‘cushy undeserving poor‘ horseshit that’s going around, I say let’s be thorough and ensure nobody is abusing the system:

Unlike food stamps, nobody is debating making middle-class households take a drug test to qualify for the mortgage-interest tax deduction version of welfare. I’ll note that the way inclusiveness is defined is very important for the regulatory state and that democratic feudalism and upside-down populism is very relevant to Corey Robin’s new book on the conservative movement, and move on to the next concern.

After all, the annual food stamp recipient (for a family of four) receives $5,952 per year, while the average mortgage interest deduction for a household with income over $250,000 per year is…$5,459.

Want to make sure they don’t have any addiction issues, so they’ll use the money responsibly.

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7 Responses to I Think Everyone Who Receives Even a Single Tax Dollar Should Have to Pee in a Cup

  1. sciliz says:

    I think just food stamp (and WIC, ect.) participants should have to pee in a cup.
    We should test it for diabetes and then give everyone who has blood sugar issues extra healthy food in addition to what they got before, and specialized counseling. Most efficient targeted public health intervention ever!
    But I think most people claiming the average mortgage tax deduction probably can get their own health care, though I suppose we can test their pee in the interests of fairness.

    Wait… addiction issues? What are we talking about? I thought we were interested in public health…

  2. That would sure have to be one humongous cup for everyone to pee in!

  3. Scott says:

    How about blood alcohol content?

  4. Homer says:

    If this is sarcasm, I’m missing it. If not, some of you need to review the 4th amendment and try to figure out what it means. To me, it means the fucking government doesn’t have the right to make me piss in a cup because if there is no cause for anyone to believe that I have broken the law. They have no right to fuck with my personal life by sticking their microscopes up my ass. It’s not about having nothing to hide. It’s about the fact that they have no fucking business prying into my life without probable cause to believe I have broken the law.
    I think the greatest threat to this country is not al Qaeda, right-wing lunatics, alien invasion, or collisions with meteors, but the ignorance of our own citizens who don’t know the first fucking thing about the constitution.

  5. Comrade Carter says:

    Yes, you’re number 4 on this one.

    I long ago said that everyone who got federal money, including the CEO and the board members, should pee in a cup.

    That would cure us.

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